question: It seems that your last "wendelism" was in december of 2008. What is taking you so long?

answer:
SHUT UP!!! Has it really been that long? That's insane!! Okay, I promise I will try to make these things happen a little quicker. How's this: every time we change a Tonight Show host, I'll do a new "wendelsim." What do you think?
OOOHHHHHH....I suppose SOME of you think it ought to be quicker than THAT???
 

QUESTION: Wendel, where have you been?

ANSWER:

Running for president. After hearing the varying points of view, I figured that person that
embodied EVERYBODY'S view would be the winner. So, my platform will be all about change that encompasses the old government. Now, I need to figure out how to be part woman and then I'll be all set.

QUESTION:

Wendel, with October coming up, do you have plans for Halloween?

ANSWER:

Well, I've been trying for so long to be a musician but it's to prove that when you walk up to someone's house and say "trick or treat." So, I'm looking at ideas that might be more believable. I'm thinking maybe a person of the cloth. Maybe THAT will be more believable.
 

QUESTION:

Wendel, where have the new Wendelisms been?

ANSWER:

Sorry, I was out of town for a while. The mother of Britney and Jamie Lynn had me come over to write some music for them. I told her the she needed me to do more than that. SO...I did some counseling with the young ladies. They ought to be good now.
 

QUESTION:

Your newsletter this month was a little late. Why would that be?

ANSWER:

Well, I'm currently wrapping up my last history of rock and roll class at UT, at least for the foreseeable future. So, I've been busy doing things very "rock and roll" things. I've been doing things like throwing TVs out of hotel windows, driving really fast while under the influence, and dating supermodels.
Well, they don't KNOW we're dating. I just kinda follow them around. They don't really see me. It's more like stalking. Hmmm...maybe I should stop talking now.
 

QUESTION:

Do you have any stories from the recently completed tour that you'd like to share?

ANSWER:

I decided to take my car for part of the tour. Yes, the Saturn that has 220,000 miles on it. I'm a little surprised at how well it held up. But, it DOES have a lot of mileage on it. So my thinking was that if I mentioned that, and someone from Saturn read this, then maybe we could work out a sponsorship deal where they could GIVE me a car in return for me going on and on with how much I love Saturn vehicles. I'd be willing to called the next tour "The Saturn Tour." I could make the next album all about things called Saturn. I'm not above any of that. Just say the word, my Saturn friends.
 

QUESTIONS:

What is a COMPENDIUM?

ANSWER

It's funny that you should ask that question. My name and this word were used in a sentence together just last night. The thing is...it took a long time to explain what the word meant and how it applied to me. The answer I FINALLY received was literally: "The gospel according to wendel."
that's not a book I think many people would buy. Which brings me to the answer to this question: I don't know.
 

QUESTION:

WENDEL, THE UT SINGERS WILL BE PERFORMING IN WASHINGTON DC DURING THEIR TOUR IN MARCH. SHOULD WE BE WORRIED ABOUT YOU BEING IN THE NATION'S CAPITOL?

ANSWER:

Should you be worried? Not yet. BUT while I am there I DO plan to announce my decision to run for president. Worry then.

QUESTION:

WENDEL...WHAT UPCOMING 2007 PROJECT ARE YOU MOST EXCITED ABOUT?

ANSWER:

hmmm...probably the fact that the next album will be a spiritual album. I was apprehensive with the idea at first, but when I started making notes about music that might be on the album, I was a little surprised at the amount of songs I came up with. oh wait...this isn't supposed to be a serious answer, is it? uh..okay....a spiritual album...about ghosts!!! yeah...songs about casper and disney's haunted mansion. whew...almost wasn't paying attention there!!
 

QUESTION:
         WENDEL, ARE THERE ANY SPECIAL PLANS FOR CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR?
 
 ANSWER:
        
          yeah, last year I had this issue because i didn't THINK there really was a Santa. SO, when I heard something coming down the chimney, I went and got my gun. Well...I kinda shot Santa. I need to make that up to him this year. He was REALLY upset. Shouting words that AREN'T very Christmas-like. I'll buy extra milk and cookies this year.
 

QUESTION:
WENDEL, DO YOU HAVE SPECIFIC PLANS FOR THANKSGIVING THIS YEAR?

ANSWER:
Actually, this year will be a little different for me. Instead of going to visit my family, I plan to go out into the wild and see if I can learn about the turkeys that we tend to eat every year. My plan is to see what thanksgiving is like from their point of view. I plan to bring several copies of the upcoming christmas cd, "Let it Snow," as a consolation gift for all the pain we've caused turkey-kind over the years. Wish me luck.

QUESTION:
WENDEL, WHY DIDN'T WE GET A WENDELISM IN SEPTEMBER?

ANSWER:
Well, I don't like to tell many people this, but sometimes the
US military asks me to do small favors for them. I had to go undercover for
a while. All I can tell you is that it involved a third world country, a
mule, and an iron.

I can't go any further.
 

QUESTION:
Wendel, be honest, which are you more excited about...your August tour or your August birthday?

ANSWER:
My only regret is that I can't have them both happen at the same
time. If the birthday celebration could last the entire month, can you
imagine the amount of presents I could get? Perhaps if I lied on every date
of the month and TOLD people it was my birthday...???? Perhaps I could get
away with that

QUESTION:
Wendel, have you been excited about the coverage of the World Cup?
 

ANSWER:
I'll be honest with you. I've been in airports recently where
coverage of the world cup was being broadcast and i was amazed how everyone
was glued to the television. it gave me what i think is a wonderful
idea....the WENDEL cup!! it can be a contest in which various groups of
people chase me around and try to kick me into a net. i can't imagine there
wouldn't be LOADS of people in line for THAT!!
 

QUESTION:
Wendel, you have a tour scheduled this august. Any hints as to
what we can expect?
ANSWER:
I'm very excited about what I have planned for this tour. I'm
planning on some thing that no one has ever done before. No one will know
what to make of it. I'm working on coming out in black and white make up
while wearing boots with six-inch heels. There will be lots of bombs going
off and fire all over the place. then, to really shock people, I've rigged
this device that looks like I'm really spitting up blood. then I'll fly into
the rafters of the building. Cutting edge stuff. Who has ever done that?


QUESTION:
Wendell, now that school is over for a while, how will you be spending the summer?


ANSWER:
I hadn't really planned on discussing this with anyone just yet, but since the question is here I'll go ahead. My concern is that gas prices are rising so high that it's not possible for anyone to afford it. Still, we have to get around. So, I needed to find a way to get around the issue. I'm pleased to announce that, starting this month, I'll be making my own gas, Wendel-gas. I haven't decided on a price yet, but I'm sure it will be affordable. If you are interested, let me know....Wendel-gas can make house calls.

QUESTION:
Wendell, can you tell us anything about how the UT Singers'
tour turned out?
 
 
ANSWER:
well...the FIRST night was great. We had finished a high
school performance in oak ridge and then drove to Tullahoma, TN to
spend the night. Now...the NEXT day, on our way to Columbia, TN; we  passed some cows that looked like they wanted something to do. I'm  guessing it's pretty boring out there. So I honked at them. They  seemed to enjoy it, so I honked at some more cows. next thing you  know...they are following us, mad because I disturbed them. I'd never  seen cows run before...THAT was something else. I ended up spending  the rest of the tour in jail. Apparently, disturbing cows is a problem in some Tennessee counties.

QUESTION:
Wendell, why didn't you participate in the Olympics?


ANSWER:
well...I WAS asked. but I figured that with all the snow and
cold weather, SOMEONE was going to need to provide me with a personal
heater. a space heather...a heavy coat...SOMETHING. none of that was ever
offered.
plus...I encountered some discrimination because they wouldn't
allow me to enter in my category because they said I "wasn't right for it."
like I've never done women's skating before.
 

QUESTION:
Wendell, do you have any predictions for the super bowl?


ANSWER:
I'm not the biggest football fan. it's something my brothers
tease me about all the time. so, I've decided that this year...I'd show
them. do a lot of research on a team, make sure that I know all the
players, that kind of stuff. this way, I'll be able to speak like I know
what I'm talking about at all the super bowl parties I'll be attending.
so, I did so. and I'm ready. I feel good about it. I put all my
money on the red sox.

QUESTION:
Wendell, do you have any new years resolutions?


ANSWER:
to be honest...I thought about doing something that I had never
done before...like laundry. maybe, for the new year, I'll do my laundry. I
mean, it DOES get a little taxing to keep buying new clothes because
something gets dirty. but I think that would get old.
so, then I thought..perhaps I'll stop playing the piano. no one
would ever expect that!! but then I wouldn't have the money to buy clothes
when something gets dirty.
so, then if thought that I would stop all communication on the
internet. but, in thinking that through, it occurred to me that if I wasn't
on the internet, no one would know where I was playing and I wouldn't get
paid and I couldn't buy clothes when something gets dirty instead of doing
laundry.
so, uh...no. no resolutions.

QUESTION:
Wendel, what are you doing to celebrate thanksgiving?


ANSWER:
I'm glad this question was brought forth. It gives me the
chance to make public my thoughts on a specific topic.

Thanksgiving is actually my favorite holiday. Not only does it
give a chance to spend time with family without the pressure of buying
stuff, but it makes me think about our country...America. It reminds me of
all the wonderful things about this nation of ours and how we've been
through a lot recently. It makes me proud to be able to be an American and
know that I should do my part along those lines.

This is why I've decided to nominate MYSELF as the next
supreme court justice. I think our country NEEDS a musical point of view.
when someone needs a verdict I can just go into my Elvis
impersonation..."we're caught in a trap...we can get out..." see...wouldn't
that work well?

QUESTION: Wendel, why haven't we seen any new cds from you recently?

ANSWER: Be careful of what you wish for.

As it turns out...the next few months shall be, from now on, known as the AUTUMN OF WENDEL!!!! Why would that be?

I have a new cd coming out on October 21st, "loss." The release party will be at the Lawson-McGhee Library at 6pm, October 21st. The cd will also be available online on that day as well as, for the first time, past cd's of mine. We will also put the "Biblical Waters" cd up for sale online and various choral arrangements of mine. IN ADDITION to that, jazz charts of all the music on the "loss" cd will be available for purchase...all online...all starting October 21st.

The next month, November, will see the release of the new Christmas cd, "Let it snow." That's right..two new cds in two months!!! I will be doing a tour in December to promote the Christmas cd...and for the first time in years...I will have a copy of the FIRST Christmas cd, "Christmas," with me as well.

Now...for you hardcore Wendel fans...that's a lot of Wendel!!! Then again, if you think you are ready for it, you are welcome to participate in as much of the AUTUMN OF WENDEL as you like. There's enough for everyone.

QUESTION: Wendel, how do you plan to celebrate your birthday?

ANSWER: Thank you for remembering, but I plan to spend my birthday in court. Allow me to explain...

A lot of people are unaware that I have two brothers and one sister. My brothers are twins, Erik and Dereck. Now, it just so happens that Erik and Dereck were born on my second birthday so , yes....we all have the same birthday. I had my birthday all to myself for a WHOLE TWO YEARS and then they just took it..without asking, with no consideration of MY feelings. All of a sudden, all the presents I NORMALLY received were now divided into three.

Well...I've had enough. They both turn 40 this year and my present to them is getting a court order that forces them to find THEIR OWN birthday. I will no longer be sharing the day, I will no longer be sharing the presents, I will no longer be sharing the money. 40 years is long enough. A man must make a stand against injustice.

I'm cutting them loose.

Happy Birthday to me.

QUESTION: Wendel, how is your summer going?

ANSWER: It's ruined, I tell you...RUINED!! Allow me to explain.

    I'm close to finishing up a summer semester of a history of rock and roll class. I've had to deal with some very unsettling facts. Facts that have made me consider the state of the world. Facts that have me wonder if our world has any hope. What kinds of facts? That these children...our future..have gotten this far in their lives without knowing the following things:

   *Bob Dylan's "All Along The Watchtower" DID NOT come from Jimi Hendrix.
      *The Chicago that recorded "Does Anyone Really Know What Time It Is" IS THE SAME CHICAGO that recorded "You're The Inspiration."
      *Woodstock...the original one...was really a mess. Just one big mess.
      * There was LITERALLY a time when you could not go ANYWHERE without hearing SOME song by The Beatles.
      *THERE WAS A TIME WHEN ELVIS WAS SOMETHING INCREDIBLY EXCITING TO LOOK AT.

     They don't know these things....but they know how to set ringtones on their cell phones.

     Help me, Obi-Won Kenobi

QUESTION: Wendel, what are your thoughts on the Michael Jackson verdict?

ANSWER: My friends, there is a greater injustice going on that is much bigger than the Michael Jackson trial. Allow me to explain:

A few weeks ago, I was in the great city of Atlanta to lay down at the altar....to pay my respects..to be in the presence of greatness. I went to the Aretha Franklin concert. Now, here is the queen of soul ripping apart "Think," right? The first woman to be in the rock and roll hall of fame tearing through "Respect," right? But the person to my right is TAKING A PHONE CALL ON HIS CELL!! The very loud group of people behind me are concerned because THEY ARE OUT OF WINE!!! And the two chic-ly dressed women to my left are DISCUSSING THEIR BOYFRIENDS AND THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT THINGS THAT THEIR BOYFRIENDS REALLY DON'T WANT TO KNOW!!! All of these people clap only when they hear that other people are clapping, then they go back to THEIR business. Ladies and Gentlemen, their business SHOULD have been the queen of soul!! When someone like Aretha Franklin is in your presence, YOU SHUT UP!!

There should be police that walk through a performing venue. If they catch people not properly listening to a concert, they should be put in an adult-time-out!! A room with NO alcohol, NO cell phones, and NO means of being able to hear the concert. It's not like they were listening anyway, right? They should ONLY have a video screen with someone like Katie Couric explaining what they have done wrong and telling them how they have lost their concert-going rights for the rest of the concert.

Then, people who COULDN'T get tickets should be placed in THEIR spots. That way, we can have people who actually want to LISTEN to concerts. People that want to socialize will have to wait until the concert is over. Then they can talk all they want about what they DIDN'T hear.

QUESTION: A new website? What happened to the old website?

   ANSWER: You see, this is what's wrong with the way the world thinks. Here is a person that can't get their head out of yesterday. Well, here I am saying...let's look at tomorrow!! Prince once said to "think about the future." My friend Whitney Houston once said to me that she believed that children were the future. I disagree. The future, ladies and gentlemen, is here in the BRAND NEW wendelwerner.com website.

This future will include the usual things: calendar,
newsletter, bio. But....since we are now spending our time looking FORWARD.. this means there are now other things to see here. We now can have you purchase CDs from this website. You will get the monthly newsletter sent to you FROM this website. You will be able to purchase your own copies of
choral arrangements I've done from this website. You will be able to purchase merchandise that proudly says "wendelwerner.com" on it so that YOU, TOO can show the world that you look toward the future. Speaking of the future, HERE is where you will be able to find out about the release dates for my two latest recordings: "LOSS," a solo jazz piano cd, and "WHAT CHRISTMAS ALBUM?" the LONG-AWAITED 2nd solo piano Christmas album.

SO, for those who have been looking backwards, we proudly leave you behind. Those of you coming with me, jump on board the train and ride through the new website anytime you like. Like me, it's open 24
hours a day.

HAVE FUN!!